Yay let’s talk about week five! This week was a week of physical pain and heartbreaking for the needs of the nations. We had a week conference in Tijuana, full of worship and just inviting the Holy Spirit to move, and oh boy He sure did in such an awesome way. We had an amazing Pastor, who came from Africa as our speaker for the week, his name is Paul. This man is passionate for the word and God used him in such a powerful way. He also shared some life changing stories that impacted my heart and definitely was a waking call to start praying passionately for the nations and my brothers and sisters all over the nations. Monday was awesome, Tuesday was WOW I can’t describe it with words, we had the awesome opportunity to be anointed by the Holy Spirit with the gift of healing followed by a night of worship that I so didn't want it to be over!!!
Then on Wednesday at 4:30 am I began to feel a really bad pain in my stomach, minute by minute the pain became stronger and stronger. I got up at 6:30am to shower and get ready for my quiet time that starts at 7:00am, at that time I was in such a horrible pain that I had one of my roomates call one of the leaders. Soon enough one of my amazing leaders, Kailly came to offer her assistance and asked me if I wanted to go to the doctor (at that time I felt that medicine would do and that I could hold the pain but oh boy I was so so so wrong). They brought me medicine, I took it and as disgusting as it sounds I started to puke and to cry, (through all these hours I was praying for God to bring healing and to help me), so after the first puke I started crying out to God with all my heart and little strength I had left- “God I know that You love me and you don’t enjoy seeing me in pain, and that this situation is not ideal to you so please all I ask you is to please teach me something, show me something, I want to benefit from this pain please talk to me, I want to learn something in the mist of this horrible pain, LORD I NEED YOU!!!” after that, I told one of my roomates; I needed to go to the hospital I couldn’t take it anymore, so two of my wonderful leaders took me to the Red Cross, on my way over there I was praying to God for strength to get to the hospital because I was feeling like I was about to pass-out. As soon as I got to the hospital I asked for emergency assistance. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it, than they place me in a bed with IV. Something so important to mention is that about 3 months ago I got a similar strong pain in my stomach but not as bad as this time, it was diagnose as gastritis, so doctor gave me a treatment for one month and gave me instruction of what not to eat (including no CHILE and no COFFEE… etc) and of course two weeks before I had this pain I ate these things, I ate things I shouldn’t have been eating L. While I was laying down I could hear God speaking to my heart saying - “ I love you, do you believe it?! I love you so much and I would do anything to avoid pain in your life, every time I guide you to leave or surrender things in your life is because I AM Sovereign and I know what comes ahead, I know what is best for you, I created you. I lead you with love and to a free life, many times you won’t understand what and why I ask you to do, you just need to trust in Me my daughter and hold onto the promises I have given you and have the assurance I will make everything work together for you good and my glory, don’t ever doubt my love for you, don’t ever doubt I have plans of good for you, I love you and my heartbreaks when you are hurting, trust in my faithfulness because My LOVE never changes’’-WOW I then understood that God was talking about something greater than this physical pain, this was an example; obviously the doctor had given me instructions of what not to eat because she knew how bad the pain was going to be, she knew the consequences and knew I could end up in the hospital. I didn't follow the instruction and didn't trust on her advice and what happen due to not following instructions, I almost die of the pain. –
DO YOU SEE WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS!!! It’s the same thing with God, many times He guides me to do things a certain way because of His love and protection but many times I act like if I know better and choose my selfishness,(not trusting Him,not forgiving, not surrendering what God tells me to surrender, to let go off) then I see the consequences when I am heartbroken or in emotional pain, God definitely does not want to see me in pain in any way but is disobedience that brings consequences(pain) yet in His grace, turns things around for my good. Isn't His LOVE wonderful?!!! God was teaching me to trust Him more, to rest in Him and to not fear, to be obedient, rather to be fearful of not walking in His will. I understood how much He loves me and how faithful He is. Now I am surer than ever that if He tells me to let go of something is only because He knows what is best and sees what comes ahead. He is my Creator, He’s the creator of heavens and earth how foolish was of me not to trust in Him, following my sticky emotions many times in my life!! Today I choose to trust Him and be obedient to Him, it might be painful and a little uncomfortable to do what He tells me to do but is definitely not as painful and uncomfortable as if I disobey, obviously He knows best and directs me to His perfect will for my life. - Never doubt that God directs you with love and to a free life. Don’t hesitate to be obedient to His call because you never know the blessings you are missing out for holding onto your foolishness. I AM WALKING IN OBEDIENCE <3
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